Before we get to infinitives and infinity, we should cover affinity. Slicer is a sucker for objects bearing his name, or his function. Whether it's a precision instrument for shaving bacon, or a cool guitar pedal, he feels a compelling urge...
He has posted before about pizza (a recording of an embarrassing phone call) and now has the opportunity to link it with another 'indispensable' tool. The precision of this one is highly dependent on how well it's used. Slicer did laugh out loud at the unabashed nerdiness of this latest trinket for sale over at Space.com, and also the ongoing tolerance, nay celebration, of the split infinitive:
Whilst vigorously resisting any nerd-like tendencies himself (:-D), Slicer still has fond affection for the original Star Trek series of his youth, and in adult life he has an ongoing passion for better understanding of the universe (or multiverse, if it exists), and the challenge of grappling with infinity. From the time of his own childhood to that of his kids, it seems that the attraction of "to infinity and beyond" still holds sway (for both children and adults). Slicer has often been struck by some areas where science fiction of his youth has become science fact as an adult - orbiting space stations, interplanetary travel (OK, not yet manned), flip up mobile phones & solid state data storage being some examples. As C S Lewis wrote, “Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.”
However the writing has to be good, and prophetic. It must be believable. One place where Gene Roddenberry & Co slipped up badly was the regular addition of a guy or the girl that you'd never seen before to the membership of a landing party visiting a potentially hostile planet. As if the fact that you hadn't seen them before wasn't a big enough clue as to their eventual fate, they always wore a red jersey.... and in all those lectures they had to endure at Starfleet Academy on interspecies etiquette, Klingon body language, and phaser safety, no-one thought to tell them, "DON'T PUT ON THE RED SHIRT!" It would seem that such practical training could have made a substantial difference to crew mortality when they went to "explore strange new worlds." Whilst technologically advanced, they're clearly not all that bright in the future...
The nice folks over at Space.com have ingeniously turned this flaw into a merchandisable feature, complete with the appropriate text font:
As they point out on the site:
"The Red Shirt is a sci-fi idiom for the anonymous, the expendable, the smoking boots behind a boulder.... Just don't stand next to us when you wear that thing."
Slicer thinks the Space.com folk might be forgetting the distinction between fiction and reality - There is another reason why your mates (if you have any) might avoid standing near you if you go out in one...
If you buy one, best treat it like the pizza slicer - keep it the drawer and only bring it out as a novelty to make people laugh... and laugh with you rather than at you.
And with that important life lesson delivered, Slicer hopes that you will indeed "live long and prosper."
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